Warriors.

Sometimes you just need to scream at the top of your lungs.  And sometimes you need to do it for a long time. 

There was a time in my life where I didn't believe in yelling.  A time where I didn't think screaming to loose all the anger built up in your soul was a good idea.  I used to think of it as, "a little much".  To me it seemed immature and unwise.  It seemed like something a teenager does when they don't know how to handle all the emotions they're feeling so they just yell because it's a great way to vent.  It seemed really, really ridiculous.

And yes, I knew the story of Jesus flipping temple tables, and I'd read the verses where Jesus had multiple sentences with exclamation points on the end of them, but I just figured it was extremely rare circumstances under which only God would have the discernment to know when was a good time to, "let loose".  What I hadn't read was all the verses about Jesus/God proclaiming victory in a very aggressive manner.  I forgot about Paul saying God will CRUSH satan under your feet(Romans 16:20).  I mean yes, I'd heard it in children's sunday songs, but it always seemed so happy and not like that would ever need to happen.  No one told me in Sunday school about spiritual warfare and the sometimes overwhelming strength of temptation.

No one told me about the times where I would feel defeated and like I was nothing but a victim of sin hoping for some help from God.  No one told me that in those moments I would need to remind myself that not only am I a precious child of God, but I am also a mighty soldier of Christ, MADE mighty by Him and His Spirit. 

I'd heard the phrase, "soldier of Christ" before.  And I'd read all the stories about warriors in the old testament fighting valiantly for God, but never once had I made the connection(or had it made for me) that there are times in our walk with God that we need to take the stance of a warrior.  The spiritual world is not fake, and it's not some flowery fairy land where the good sprites fight the bad sprites.  It's fully real, and the enemy is VERY real.  God will always be bigger and stronger, but I think if we look at the reality of the world today, we see that the enemy is not to be taken lightly.  Ever.

Sometimes it takes a lot more than a friendly prayer and a helping hand to spread the kingdom.  Sometimes we encounter very real, very serious battles, and the only way to win them is get into a battleground mentality. 

There's all kinds of situations where this applies, but right now I am speaking specifically into the area of personal temptation.  All too often--almost all the time--I think we as Christians take the passive stance of being, 'victims' of temptation and sin.  And to a certain degree I think we are right.  Right up until the point where we encounter God, we are victims of temptation and sin.  We are victims because we haven't yet been told the truth. 

But when we find out the truth, I believe there needs to be a serious momentum shift, and there needs to be a serious identity shift.  When we are told the truth, we are told that we are no longer victims, but we are children of God made whole and strong by His Spirit.  We are told that Jesus Christ is Sovereign Lord over all things.  The enemy has no more power, only pathetic tricks--still very real tricks--but they have no more hold on our life. 

If this is the truth--and if we confess it as the truth--then why do we continue to let ourselves suffer and feel oppressed by temptation and the enemy?  Why do we not take ownership of this truth, and proclaim it over every aspect of our lives where the enemy continues to try and hold us down? 

As a guy, I've had my struggles with pornography/masturbation.  And I think that pretty much every guy would be lying if he told you he hadn't.  Porn was a battle I struggled with in high school, but God gave me the grace to conquer it over two years ago.  It was surprisingly easy to let go in comparison to many testimonies I have heard over my life, but I choose not to question why and simply thank God that He gave me that freedom. 

Masturbation, on the other hand, was an incredible struggle.  I know there are many people who are on the fence as to whether or not masturbation is even a sin, but through my own personal journey/experience in life, I have come to see it as such and treat it as such. 

Masturbation stayed with me and hung over me like a thick, black cloud for a very, very long time even after kicking porn out the door.  I used to have horrible moments of feeling like a huge failure and like I couldn't control what was happening anymore.  I felt like a perpetual victim.  The enemy seemed to hard to defeat for me.  And then I hit an all time low.

I was doing good: I hadn't masturbated in a while and felt like I was going to pull through it for real this time(as I had felt every week for the past as-long-as-I-could-remember).  Then it happened twice in one day, and I lost it.  Something in me got very fed up and angry.  Usually I would get in a mopy and depressed mood and pray a sad little prayer to God about how much life sucks, but this time I got angry.  I asked God why I was letting this continue to happen, and He asked me the exact same question.  In about 30 seconds, I wrote a page and a half proclamation against the enemy and against my addiction to masturbation.  I read the proclamation out loud, resolved to write down every single day for the rest of my life how long it had been since I last masturbated(just to rub that fact in the enemies face), and then blasted the song, "Down" by Thousand Foot Krutch and screamed the chorus at the top of my lungs.  I was fired up.  I was aggressive.  I was in the mindset of a warrior.

It has been 100 days since that day.  There have definitely been moments of serious struggle along the way, but instead of thinking, "oh crap, help me God" as I used to think, I instead say, "F*ck off, satan, you have no business here and you will not win this battle".  I don't worry about what the outcome of that moment will be because I already know.  Christ has already won, and He is the most powerful being in existence, AND He's the King of my team.  The enemy has nothing on that. 

Jesus has given us authority over all things of the earth, and that includes all earthly temptations.  Grab hold of that authority with a powerful roar and don't let go for anyone.  We are definitely precious children of God, but we are also mighty soldiers of Christ.  Stand up.  Wipe the dirt off your shoulder, and spit in the enemies' face.  Jesus is standing right behind you, and the devil himself trembles in his boots around The King.

 We are not Victims.  We are victors.  Give your battle cry. 

Scream at the top of your lungs.

Pearson Airport

This is the last post of this blog until further notice.  I'm currently sitting in Toronto Pearson Airport waiting to board a plane to Chicago, where I will board a plane to Tokyo!  So I'll talk to you all when I talk to you.  Bye! :)

Cleaned

Today was a lazy day.  But we also cleaned.  That is all.

A Beautiful Smile

Today was confirming, blessing, prophetic, and overall just incredible.

I don't really know how to put it into words for you, but basically I had a lot confirmed for me, and a bit of prophecy as well.  God ain't nothin' but good :).

One thing that struck me about today was how many people have told me today and in days past while here that I have a beautiful and contagious smile.  I never realized it before, but I don't really think I have a very nice smile at all.  Whenever I look in the mirror and see my wide gape of a smile and the two bucked, gap teeth that serve as the centerpiece, I try and forget about it so I can laugh and smile without worrying what I look like when I laugh.

But I realize now that God sees me as His, "sunshine when clouds are grey".  God loves my smile.  People love my smile.  I'm gonna keep smiling, because I have no reason not to.

For those of you reading this from home, I miss you all terrible right now, and I look very much forward to February when I can wrap each and every one of you up in a big hug.

Catch you all...tomorrow?

The Real Kingdom of Heaven

So, we went on the van run again tonight.  And I want to write all about it, because I'm so excited and I want others to know and experience everything you learn and experience every time you do one of these van runs, but I know there is no way anyone reading this will understand.

You can nod your head and say, "wow, that's exciting" with a slightly genuine smile trying to understand why I'm so excited about homeless people.  Or you can say, "uhhh...that doesn't sound right." as I tell you how all the men and women I meet on the street are ten times more genuine, generous, caring, loving, thankful and kind than any given friend I have today(I still love you all). 

It would only frustrate me to try and explain it to you, and so all I'm going to tell you is this: Jacob, apply for a YWAM DTS.  University/College will worry about itself later.  Rebekah, do the same.  Holt, do the same.  Everyone else...DO THE SAME!!

The only way I can help you understand the wonderful men and women I met on the street tonight is that that is where I found the kingdom of heaven.  I got an idea for a documentary for when I get back.  I'm going to call it, "The Real Kingdom of Heaven".  All it will be is interactions with all these wonderful people that live on the streets of Toronto.  It will be a testament to them and their lives, and an example to every single christian on this earth.

Catch you all tomorrow.

I don't know Anything

I don't know anything, but I know a God who knows everything.

This is the statement that God has given to me and ultimately given me peace about all this knowledge we're getting this week.  Frank is the wisest man I think I have ever encountered--he even tops Sid! 

Frank joined us in our apartment for dinner last night, and he continued to talk about what he had talked about yesterday for the morning lectures, and he went more into detail about the tree of good and evil and the creation of man and how it relates to knowing God before you know anything else.  To be honest, I was so overwhelmed by the information that I simply had to go to God and say, "uh…".  And through processing my thoughts with Marvin and Jess in conversation, God gave us that statement: I don't know anything, but I know a God who knows everything. 

For every thought, decision, or action where there is more than breakfast involved, I will go to God.  Whether it's a big issue, or a little one.  If it's life, it deserves a conversation with God about it.

See, Frank explained to us last night that God said this about the tree of knowledge of good and evil: "They are not READY to eat of this yet".  There was a time coming when God would allow man to eat from that tree.  But He is our father, and His intention was to father us into that time when we were ready to eat.  Frank talked about the fall of man, and how we only use 10% of our brains.  The theory is that Adam used a significantly larger amount of his brain, and had a greater understanding of life than anyone.  Yet, God waited to create Adam on the sixth day for two reasons:

1. Adam was not to know how God created creation.  That was not for him to know.
2. Adam was meant to enjoy the creation and the mystery of it.  If he knew it all, he wouldn't enjoy it as much.

But then Lucifer came along--the most beautiful angel ever created(the original translation of serpent actually meant, "shining one"--and told Adam1 and Adam2 that they could have all the knowledge that was coming NOW, and this was all they had to do: eat this fruit.  They would become like God: they would know the difference between good and evil.

Ever since, that has been the nature of man: to know all things, and to know them now.  All the church has done in the past 100 years is make rules and point out what is good and what is bad.  Before Adam and Eve ate the fruit, nakedness was not good or bad, it was just nakedness. 

Today, if a naked couple walked into a large gathering of people 50% would probably say, "oh, that's good!" and the other 50% would probably say, "oh, this is very bad!".  Not one would think, "huh, they're naked".  Everyone would judge. 

Judgementalism was the first thing we see as evidence of our premature knowledge of good and evil(besides nakedness): "The woman made me do it!" and then, "The serpent made me do it!"

This was not how God intended it.  Right now what I feel like God is constantly showing me is that the gray area is the best area, because our premature understanding of good and evil leads us to think that everything is black and white.  The fact of the matter is that that's simply not how it is.  I don't know for sure that that's not how it is, but that's what God has shown me for my time on earth: stick with the gray area, and ask Him for guidance, counselling, answers, etc.  I don't know anything, but I know a God who knows everything.

I'm not saying there aren't things that are fundamentally wrong, because everyone can agree that there is nothing positive in rape.  But put a philosopher in the situation and he'll show you the gray areas of rape.  And in those situations all I can do is say, "You take this one, God." cuz I don't know!  But He knows, and He'll guide me, because He is 110% loving and 110% faithful to His children.

Frank also explained that people seem to have the illusion that God can't sin.  He can, He just doesn't.  Ever.  Because He knows what sin does.  He knows it grabs hold of you, and God won't give up His freedom.  That's the only thing stopping Him from sinning, because there is no one greater or equal, so no one can hold Him accountable, and no one can call Him out on it, and no one can stop Him.

But that's exciting.  He's immensely greater and more powerful than we will ever be able to comprehend, and whatever He chooses to do no one will EVER be able to stop him.  EVER!!  And yet He chooses to be patient and loving with us, because He loves us too much to give up His freedom.

Going into outreach, I'm going to remember that I don't know anything, but I know a God who knows everything, and that the gray area is exactly where I should be, because that is the easiest way for Him to help me.

Are you willing to admit you don't know anything?

Catch you all tomorrow.

I Never Knew You

"Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’  Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’" 
       - Matthew 7:22-23


Jesus said He only ever does and says what He sees His Father doing.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  We got a really intense talk this morning from Frank(he's our speaker this week).  He talked about how we can live the most righteous life, and do all these amazing things, but when it gets to the end God will saw what He says in the above verse.


We can do fantastic things in the spirit and be all crazy, but it is MEANINGLESS if we're not doing it because we believe it is God's heart.  God may only have two things He wants you to ever do, and the rest of the time is just to enjoy the blessing of life that He has given you, and enjoy it in a Godly way!  God doesn't want good works, He wants your true heart and your true love and your true relationship through Jesus Christ.


It's actually easier than striving for righteousness.  All it takes is spending time with God, and He rubs off on you naturally, and you'll find yourself doing things and having attitudes you wouldn't expect yourself to have!  I have experienced this first hand and witnessed it first hand.  It makes perfect sense too: you hang out with drugees you will develop the same attitudes and habits as them as well.


Frank then talked about the creation story of lucifer and him being the most beautiful angel God ever created and the fall of man and such.  It tied in with all this, I just can't remember exactly how...oops.


We then had the man who runs the, "John schools" in Toronto come and speak.  Funnily enough, his name is John Fenn.  


John was once himself a buyer, and because of this lost a 25 year marriage and lost relationship with his two daughters for just over a year.  He was also an alcoholic, gambler, drug addict, etc.  Long story short, he is a christian man who helps run the most successful operation in the anti-sex trade.  


Basically, men who are convicted of buying sex spend a day with him and several speakers on the truths of the sex trade, and only 2% of the men who go to this ever go back to buying sex.  It was a crazy awesome talk, and really encouraging to hear so many hopeful stories.


Catch you all tomorrow.