Indifference

I wasn't going to make an entry today.  For some reason I've been feeling slightly indifferent about certain things lately.  I wouldn't say in a bad way, but not necessarily in a good way either.  Then again, that kind of defines indifference.

For example, as I write this blog post I feel pretty darn indifferent about it, and feel like I don't really care about it or want to write anything in it.  Yet, I must write, because I told myself I would keep this up daily.  So I suppose I'll ask myself this question: how did I see/experience God today?

I think this is part of the problem with my indifference; is that I woke up this morning feeling extremely indifferent about anything, and therefore was indifferent to God...something I don't want to be.  And yet, He still managed to catch my attention..then again..how could He not?  You know, being God and all.

We were having worship practice, and the leafs game was on, so I just kind of played along to worship but mainly just watched the game--feeling indifferent once again--but during the second intermission, we practiced, "You are God alone".  I can't remember the lyrics, and I can't remember hardly even how the song goes...probably not good seeing as we have to play it tomorrow...anyway.

All I remember is hearing the lyrics being sung by Steve and being completely sobered by them.  The song talks about God being God and what that implies...so they're quite sobering to begin with.  I found myself in quiet repentance before God for my indifference and my act of throwing Him aside in my life today.  I know He was smiling, and I know He wanted nothing more than to wrap me in a big hug saying, "It's ok, I forgive you, and I love you."

And yet, here I sit, still feeling slightly indifferent to things.  I think part of it is being tired, and having spent the weekend being rather busy compared to past weekends...hopefully I can get more used to being busy on weekends because I know they're only going to get more busy from here on.

I'll catch you all tomorrow.